Mike Mongo's popular web presence and weblog... GET READY. GET STEADY. GO!... How To Rockstar: July 2005

31 July 2005

Water On Mars: Mars Ice Lake

The name Martian sounds so . . . martian. But Martian Ice Lake! A Martian Ice Lake!


Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow.

And wow.

Water. Mars. Some of us are going to Mars! And that's a fact.

(Now, with this news added to this news, do we get this news?

Link (via digg).

Vaughn Bode's Cheech Wizard Animation

Vaughn Bodé's Cheech Wizard is one of the most highly-praised, inspiring imaginary character-driven fantasy worlds ever. From Heavy Metal to Ecko Unlimited clothing, Cheech Wizard's influence has not let up. His son, Marc, now carries on the family torch, and with the assist from graffiti writers around the world keeping the Bodé iconography before an adoring public's eyes, Cheech Wizard remains popular.

But today, H2RS brings all you Bodé fans, new and old alike, a real treat. It is an homage piece by animator, Nigel Hendrickson of high-profile animation studio Nigel Animation. So for the first time in a long time (since Wizards?), here is Cheech Wizard live!

Link (via boingboing).

30 July 2005

Starbucks Liquor, Neville Medhora, Neville's Financial Blog, Church Of The Customer blah blah blah

This is the most ridiculous thing . . .

Oh all right . . . FUCK FUCK FUCK . . . STARBUCKS LIQUOR ! (Although the linked drink recipe does look delicious . . .)

But no, kidding aside, right? Who doesn't know that Starbucks Liquor is pure unadulterated reality-free crapola? H2RS does. And that's our bona fide opinion. And if you want to shill that kind of sweaty, derivative, reality-subsituting, anti-necro/non-narco faux nectar, be our guest. But personally, we'd rather vomit up black tea through the nostrils.

And that's all we're saying on the subject . . .

Oh, yeah, except for one more thing. You see that kid up there? The one wearing the nerve-wreckingly portentous "Odyssey Of The Mind" sweatshirt? That's Neville Medhora, and he is a one-man, unstoppable, money-adorator report-writing, cash machine. His weblog, Neville's Financial Blog, is something akin to freakish genius. It doesn't appear that Medhora is in fact all that money driven, moreso that he really enjoys grieving the hell out of everyone who desperately seeks to do at all what he is doing with the casual panache and apparent ease of a prodigy.

So, money adorators and fans of Starbucks Liquor–blech! blech!–take note: Neville Medhora is H2RS' very first Freak-You-Want-To-Freak-Of-The-Week.

And remember, ugrhhgrrgh, Starbucks Liquor. Don't drink or buy or subsidize it, just remember you heard it here first.

Link (via Church of the Customer).

29 July 2005

Things Magazine

The things magazine weblog is enthralling.

Coming to us from London–home of all things proper but not necessarily enthralling–the things weblog is readerly. It breathes readingness. It's the kind of weblog H2RS reads in the water-closet on our OQO. It's just like . . . a magazine. (In fact, it is a biannual arts magazine, but that's another story.)

Great photography, efficient pleasurable writing, and all sorts of fun unusual things, things magazine weblog feels more like a labor of love than a labor.

But literary. In other words, it's beautiful and well-crafted but not trendy.


20 July 2005

Harlan McCraney: Presidential Speechalist

What is this, some kind of joke?

How it could be that the President of the United States of America's speech-writer looks identical to comedic actor Andy Dick?

Does life imitate art, or what?

Harlan McCraney could seriously be Andy Dick's identical twin. Nonetheless, this short but insightful insight into the mind of a genius and real US-ian is something that everyone in the States should have the opportunity to see.

It's uncanny how what seems like fumbling inadequacy and a complete disassociation from reality on the part of the so-called Leader of the Free World is in fact scripted and implemented by one of the sharpest minds on the planet.

See for yourself. If you thought that Georgie Bush was an imbecile before, this will certainly give you food for thought.


19 July 2005

G4TV's X-Play with Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb

It doesn't matter if you are into videogames or not, G4TV's X-Play with Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb is the best original web programming H2RS has seen to date.

X-Play does for videogaming what Mystery Science Theatre 3000 did for cranky sci-fi. That is, timeless piss-takes.

For instance, the show's recent episode-review of Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory (incidentally, sub-titled "Chaos Theory Co-op Theatre") is a must see. So much so that they have sequalized it, like a recurring skit on SNL. Synopsis? Using the multi-player mode of the game, the X-Play hosts create "Bob" and "Steve", two Splinter Cell killers that have a proto-tarded relationship with a undeniably closet homosexual/gay superhero overtone. It's shameless, laugh-out loud, pee in your pants, genius. Ambiguously Gay Duo meets Beavis and Butthead. Or something. It's that good.

Don't believe us? The Soul Calibur Theater: 1-900-NINJA-LUV episode has a Soul Calibur character as a 900-line porn chat line host being called by none other than Legend of Zelda's Link, as portrayed by an X-Play show regular (complete with embarrassing walk-in, ala the bathroom scene from Fast Times At Ridgemont High ). Says the Link character (after screaming split-screen orgasm): "Thanks for helping me . . . clean my sword."

Actually, it's X-Play's writers' and producers' dedication to consistent quality writing, and the show's talented hosts obvious chemistry and make-it-look-easy delivery that raises the stakes for original internet programming, and stations X-Play head and shoulders above the competition–internet or otherwise.

Take our word for it. This show is more addictive than a multi-player RPG and an even better guilty pleasure than one-person shooters.

Seriously, with internet programming this well done, all the talk about cable television being a thing of the past is now a reality.

Turn on, type in, but don't dial-up, H2RS predicts giant things for G4's X-Play: Can a so-called internet tv show "about videogames" make it's way onto the big screen? If it's X-Play, it just very well may.

Oh yeah, and Morgan Webb is, like, hot.

18 July 2005

Pauly Shore Is Dead Game

Pauly Shore is a hero to few, a buffoon to many, and an unknown to more people than most of us realize. All the more reason to admire him since he is having as much fun as he is.

So when the film, Pauly Shore Is Dead, came out, H2RS took interest (especially now that it is out on DVD.) Why? Because he is a genius, an artist with a heart of gold, and he makes us laugh.

H2RS even takes great pleasure in the playing of the Pauly Shore Is Dead Flash game, at the Pauly Shore Is Dead Fox Pictures mini-site.


16 July 2005

Post Secrets

Who knew the Postcard Secrets site would still be around after all this time, much less still honest?

Postcards. With secrets that anonymous people share. For other anonymous people to see.

The concepts seemed schticky, like a one-trick pony that would come and go . . . yet no!

The site continues to have array of–often breath-taking–confessions, dreams, desires, and success stories, submitted as splendid works of art, the scrolling collection replete with the terse language of prison notes. Or of graffito. Or of children. Or of castaways.

As a matter of fact, the effect of the site is likenable to being in a boat or vessel of our own making. On the ocean? In outer-space? Underwater? Yes, and weirder.

This is humanity. Albeit anglos (for the most part). And though voyeuristic and exhibitionist to no small degree, there is an honesty here that merits your, our, my, her, their, anyone's attention.

Make a postcard. Tell the truth. Nothing could be simpler.

See for yourself.


15 July 2005

White Hot Now

Can we talk about White Hot Now again? Yes.

Here's why. It's a great site. It does successfully what H2RS does successfully, only from the other end of the blogosphere.

White Hot Now writes about the really really big stuff. This is funny because the big stuff doesn't get written about. Not really. Not in a way that encapsulates what is making it big in the first place.

For instance, everyone knows what Coca-Cola is, so much so that no one writes about what Coca-Cola is. No, people just reference it because the understanding is that everyone understands what Coca-Cola is because everyone knows Coca-Cola. But, actually? What is Coca-Cola.

A White Hot Now take on Coca-Cola would go something like this:

"The Coca-Cola Company exists to benefit and refresh everyone it touches.

I started drinking Coca-Cola since it was made of this. (Way back before the internet.) In spite of it's name there's no white stuff in it now, they switched to corn syrup during the New Coke years, but if you need a cheap calorie pick-me-up at the office during the mid-day (or early-morning) energy crunch, then you can't do better than a cold can of The Real Thing.

When the New Coke thing happened people actually organized and formed protest groups until the company brought the original formula back. The drink is so popular it has it's own clothing line.

Anyways, Coca-Cola is tasty and convenient–and even a little decadent–and available everywhere. And it may even be responsible for this whole global drug epidemic thing. ;)

Site: http:// www.cocacola.com "
See? Now how many of us drink a Coca-Cola everyday, but don't think about our doing it or what it is we're drinking? A lot of us.

Now replace Coca-Cola with boingboing. Get the picture?

Pretty cool. When a site gets written about on White Hot Now, it isn't because it's making it big, it's because it's made it big.

For obvious reasons, you'll probably not see H2RS listed there. But you might see White Hot Now. (Wow, now that would be cool!) Or at least, you should . . . because from the H2RS view, White Hot Now is definitely White Hot now material.

Our H2RS recommendation: Check in with WHN once a week.

(By the way, speaking of us, we got funding! We're going live soon!)


Mr. Pants

Go to misterpants.com . Enter.

Upper right hand corner, click on "index".

Look it over, scan down, underneath "misc junk," click on "artifacts".

Third square from left, click on smiling blue cartoon vampire face.

Then randomly pick names from the scroll down menu.

Happy Good Art Day! It's a random great site you would never had known about except for some reason you are reading H2RS.

Keep it to yourself, rockstar. Just tell your friends.


12 July 2005

Rockstar! White Hot Now Rockstar's Digg

What makes White Hot Now really worthwhile is that it reports the obvious.

It's a good idea, keeping everyone up-to-date where the rest of us are.

For instance, everyone I know is doing the Digg thing right now, but it wasn't until White Hot Now talked about it that we all got it: Digg is now essential. Which is informative, showing the forest we may have been missing for the trees.

Everyone is on Digg. Get it? White Hot Now confirms. Get that? Two different pieces of information, both noteworthy.

But the fact of the matter is that Digg is happening. It's like boingboing and slashdot for the kids who are less concerned with coolness, and who are more concerned with actual information.

Digg's like a (100% real) juice bar for non-illuminati. Which is sweet, because illuminati are boringboring.

And White Hot Now is like a Dean's list report card that also happens to function as an internet road map. Wheee!

Link (via Digg).

05 July 2005

Rockstar! Haacked

How we at H2RS landed upon haacked.com was in doing a search for TRS-80 modem history, and what people were using modems for prior to the internet. Oh the work of mighty importance with which we are occupied. But anyway, we found ourselves at the site of one Haack, blogger handle, "haacked." It was like finding intersection between Matrix-ville and Tron-city. Haacked and Haack are the real 42.

While most of the writing is tech-ish, it's still damn-damn good. The opinions of this one man whose influence is so far-reaching as to be invisible are probably worth reading just to learn what everyone else is going to be thinking tomorrow. Or next year. Or five years from now. Or yesterday.

Imagine, if you will, being able to jack into someone else's brain space, and make use of that in order to work out your own relatively minor real world challenges. Now imagine that the brain space of the person you jacked into was that of Bill Gates who was jacked into Noam Chomsky who was jacked into Kevin Kelly while he was watching The Family Guy "Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire" episode. That's what its like for a mere mortal to discover that Haack is openly emailable!

Two notes of caution to the ambitious and the foolhardy:

Fire hot. Haack invent fire.


Rockstar! World Giant Makes Wikipedia

The World Giant "splinter group," as the Wikipedia entry refers to us (yeah, that's right, it's us. Big Suprise, eh?) is gaining notoriety if not credibility with addition to the "André The Giant Has A Posse" legend page. Cjech it out.