Mike Mongo's popular web presence and weblog... GET READY. GET STEADY. GO!... How To Rockstar: September 2006

30 September 2006

Buffalo x 8

Look. It's actually, "Buffalo buffalo that Buffalo buffalo buffalo? They do buffalo, that is to say, confuse other Buffalo buffalo."

Or, "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

See? Now go show off.

Jim Henson: How Does A Puppet Sit On A Stool?

Trippy. Mad cool. Good.

Link (via Digg).

29 September 2006

Gay Test

Are you gay? Take this test...if you dare!

(Thanks RV!)

Our Blog Is Worth $33,872.40

My blog is worth $33,872.40.
How much is your blog worth?

Quite a jump since January.

It must have been that "lost Star Wars footage" we posted!

((Thanks Ben!)

27 September 2006

BB, Stop Encouraging People To Vote Please

As a huge fan of bOING bOING (having been hanging around the magazine's progenitors when it was a print magazine, back in the Gultch days, and sharing office space with MIGHT magazine in San Fran), and as one of the long-standing makers of the culture obscura their talented group reports so enthusiastically upon, I have a request to make of them as some of the most responsible and ingenious journalists of our day.

It is this. Stop encouraging people to vote please.

In fact, what I am indeed asking of the group members of bOING bOING is to cease encouraging people to rely on the functions of a corrupted mechanism, and to (dedicatedly) encourage the consideration and examination of options (and optional standards) located outside of the moment's dialogue of "paradigm" (sic).

About a month ago, in public space somewhere in the Florida Keys, I happened upon a young man wearing a t-shirt which succinctly captured my position. It read,

"If voting changed anything,
it would be illegal"

Complimenting the t-shirt's wearer, and inquiring of the individual as to it's make and from whence it came, he explained his friend "made them by hand." I later googled the phrase, and learned it is attributed to (Lithuanian-born) American anarchist Emma Goldman, and popular with anarchist groups world-over.

But as a slogan and motto, in this particular era we have misfortunately found ourselves sorting through together, I say in America, it's time has come. And bOING bOING, as reporters on movements in public sentiment and rationality, I ask request that rather than continue to prolong the agony and death-throes of what we had, you now encourage (by report) the birth of what is to come.

What is to come, then, post-9/11, post-America?

Space, for one. As in outer space. It is unquestionable that our present situation here on earth is untenable. That is, there are two distinct groups living on this planet. An unpopular idea only because within the each of the two groups there are many beliefs, ideas, and opinions. But for better of for worse, here, as I see it, is the two groups living on the planet earth at this very moment.

Astronauts (for lack of a better term), and everyone else.

Personally, like so many of us, I know I was born to live off planet in space. For one, I know because I realize earth to be so unique and so special. It's make-up is of a nature as to practically guarantee homo sapiens are to make such a leap, leaving here and moving out and off-planet. But like our proverbial ancestor who decided living in the tree was a better idea than living on the ground, so to is the separation between those of us looking to the stars for new expression of freedom and growth and identity, and those of us happy to stay as they are.

How is "as they are?" It is how it is. But it isn't tolerant and it isn't unafraid and it isn't respectful, and worst of all, it isn't loving.

Loving is what our kind does best. And, apparently, astronauts do it in stages. And apparently, this is one of those stages.

But let's stop beating around the Bush, as it were. The differences between we, who are (pre-)determined to move outwards and onwards, and they, who are satisfied with present conditions, are irreconcilable. And this isn't conjecture, it's evolution.

The joke goes, "Why do we not teach the monkey to talk? Because it wastes our time and pisses off the monkey," but the humor gives way to the adages' wisdom. Voting is not our way because the mechanism itself is inherently flawed, tainted by the short-sightedness of its small-minded operators, like a real Disney World built by us all, but being run by the nazi-minded.

Voting on machines whose software is intentionally maligned to do the will of the contractually-obligated friends and owners of the bosses of the software (and hardware) developers is like playing slot machines built only to receive coins but never to pay off. It isn't an exercise of free will, it's only an exercise.

Furthermore, imagining this situation to be hopeless with regards to our future - the future of off-worlders - is to give the organizations of the people who have chosen to stay put here on earth too much goodwill (for being interested in conversion of their views), and too little credit (for the consciousness of their choices). Whoever is "happy" and "ok" with the dramacronistic antics and tactics of the TSA/RIAA/TSA's DRM/RIFD is so inconvertibly and non-upgradeable. They should be left to their own, and interacted with in the same way we utilize, say, an working Atari 2600, Commodore 64, or Apple II. That is, respectfully, but as an amusement, hobby, or diversion, but not as a serious or practical application of contemporary standards and directions.

In other words, encouraging voting, as it is presently situated, is either pro-manipulation or anti-reality, but in any case this is counter-productive, counter-intuitive, and, really, at this point, uninteresting.

To everyone who may not have started with a proclivity for cultural dissonance and creative anarchy but who have since developed a predisposition for it), remember Emma Goldman also gets credit for saying, "If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution."

Once again, bOING bOING, stop encouraging people to vote please (but keep on encouraging people). I want to get to space, and killer stingrays and falling pianos withstanding, I will. But in the mean time, the bad monkeys are killing us using factory-reconditioned components of a grossly-obsolete political machine.

So voting no longer works for us. That's alright. The question is not "what is it that we should do?" it is "what is it that we should do...and that's fun?!" I may not know much, but I have come to depend of the metaphoric truth of one thing, which is this. "If the women are dancing, everybody's happy." And right now, bb, the women ain't dancing!
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25 September 2006

Inter The WU

"In the future, music gives way to communication, transporting quality content via sound and noise."
- DJ Unimportant
Attention H2RS fans!!

Your Favorite Little Website In The Solar System is about to undergo some growth.

Announcing the addition to our fellowship of one artist by the name of wu, an artist whose work is of such far-reaching impact it has redefined obscure.

obscure (noun) def. wu; influential; popular; future-tense of cool. [Ex. "Everything went from being uninspired and boring to being wu overnight!" Or, "Anything that wu is guaranteed to be a success."]

In other words, obscure is the new pink. And as H2RS has proven time and time again (just check out our enxtensive archives)...
"...when the going goes obscure, the obscure get secure."
- DJ Unimportant
Rock on, wu, and welcome to H2RS!

Little Person Superstar

via reddit.

24 September 2006

Weatherman Cockroach

Y'all saw this, right?


19 September 2006

Jesus Camp

via Kontraband.

15 September 2006

The Soundtracks That Time Forgot

Secret pleasures alert!

The Soundtracks That Time Forgot is one of those rare, for-our-kind-only, kind of sites, where some behind the scenes maestro sets around busily transferring original soundtracks from various media (including directly from the television!), creates gargantuan Mp3s, uploads them to RapidShare, and then posts them for our own demented delight.

Talk about good karma! The Soundtracks That Time Forgot, to us, you are the Kwisatz Haderach!

Link via bubblegumfink.

14 September 2006

500,000 Volts of Electricity Through Switch - Live!

(via Reddit).

[Update - original link with commentary)

13 September 2006

Dick Cheney Has A Posse

Crappy emo-GIANT nod, but funny, too.

Particularly the almost unnoticed "???" for Dick's weight, since it's officially listed as being "unknown."

09 September 2006

Gandhi's 9/11

Oh Blessed Everything...

Breaking news! September 11th 2006 marks the 100th anniversary of spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi's Day of Non-Violence.

Everyone here at H2RS loves how everything works out all the time!


08 September 2006

Cel Phone Handset

Imagine, walking down the street, your cel phone rings (with the "retro" ring), and reaching into your duffle, you pull out...an actual handset!

That's what Novophone has done. It's created a novel antique phone handset with 1/4" plug and adaptors for use on any cel phone.

Think of the hijinks!

H2RS, as a whole, thinks the Novophone Old-style Cel Phone Handset is a work of inspired market genius.


07 September 2006

Weirdest Kid On The Internet

Link via Digg.

04 September 2006

The New Nakedness - Naked Teens in Vermont

Will nudity bring the downfall of modern society?

True, the winter approaches, but H2RS is betting on next year's Big Thing to be the New Nudity.

It's controversial, it's provocative, and best of all, it's impossible to ignore.

Plus, it's perfect for the teenager in us all because it drives uptight adults crazy. Nude teenagering is just upsetting!

So here's to the young women and men of Brattleboro, VT, who got were first to notice the power of their exposed privates. And most of all, here's to the New Nakedness.


Combine nakedness with non-violent demonstration, and you have a form of civil disobedience that may just end a war...again!

01 September 2006

Steorn Hoaxs Entire World


What a crying shame.

Is it really so easy to pull the wool over so many people in the world today, just by throwing a little money behind a little forethought?

Repeat after me (and hit the links for all of the evidence):

Steorn. Is. A. Hoax.

Specifically, it's another damn pointless ARG. Like Ilovebees. Like The Beast. Like Mayday Mystery. Like Neurocam.

The reason this is so disappointing is the premise of a promise of free energy is damnably welcome at this juncture in our human story. The restraining bonds of energy allocation is what is compromising our development as a humankind.

Damn you, stupid marketing company, and your stupid little marketing ploy. Everything is about money when energy is God.

And OBEY GIANT is just a stupid brand, too, okay?